I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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