so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
