She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
