I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
