Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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