Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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