is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Shame - the story of my life.
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