told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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