she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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