I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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