Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
