I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
