Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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