maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
