TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
