There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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