i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
