It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
