did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
