What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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