the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
