I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
