we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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