Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
All I want is dick and wine.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
