It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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