covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
