can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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