So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
