i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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