She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
