I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
