So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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