return my video game
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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