I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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