i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
