I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
