i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
