Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
