I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
