You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize