i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
