JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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