The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
