how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
