Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
