I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
