insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
