I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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