ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
