She said her name was "party"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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