gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
