that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
