i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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