I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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