don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
