We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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