Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
