So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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