smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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