It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize