she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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