just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
