i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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