After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
