My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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