Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize